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The Mentor News
ISSN 1708-9034

(September 14, 2006)


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TOPICS

  • Mentoring Transforms Adversity into Achievement
  • CD-ROM Includes Top-Rated Mentoring Publications
  • Attend any of 27 Mentoring Conferences or Seminars
  • Use the Latest Mentoring Literature to Guide Practice
  • Champions of Mentoring
  • Create a Tag Line to Recruit Mentors
  • The Twelve Habits of the Toxic Mentee
  • Copy, Copyright, Subscribe, Unsubscribe

MENTORING TRANSFORMS ADVERSITY INTO ACHIEVEMENT

When I was growing up I dreamed of a career with a professional baseball team. I attended university on a baseball scholarship and thought I was on my way. But two short conversations changed all of that, and changed my life. And I'm glad they did.

It was near the end of a gruelling season. My university team was on its way to setting a record for the most losses in its history. We had travelled back and forth across the country playing teams whose star players are now playing in the major leagues. I was playing with and against some of the best talent in the game. Several seniors on my team were already reviewing contracts with professional clubs. But I was, to paraphrase a famous former ball player and sports announcer, "one of the best of the mediocre players."

That afternoon we were playing our traditional cross-town rivals, a university that consistently fielded one of the best baseball teams in the country. Their power hitters were easily knocking balls onto the steps of the fraternities on the other side of the center field fence. Even the players at the end of their lineup were turning singles into doubles.

I had been getting more playing time as the 60+ game season wound down and today I was in the starting lineup replacing our injured first baseman. I struck out three times, got hit by a pitch, made three fielding errors, bruised my hip chasing a foul tip into the stands, and sprained my ankle while sliding into second base.

At the end of the game the coach gathered the team together and proceeded to single out individual players for feedback. When it was my turn, he asked me: "What are you doing on this team?" "How do you expect to go further?" "What were you thinking when you did X?" He wasn't interested in answers even if I did have any. I was disappointed with my play and now I felt humiliated, dejected, and ridiculed.

As I was leaving the field a professor who taught introductory psychology, which I was taking along with 350 other undergraduates, came up by my side. He said he had come out to watch the game and was delighted to learn that one of his students was playing on the team. At first I didn't even realize he was referring to me. The only personal recognition I had experienced at this large university was when my coach would single me out and say, "What's your name again?"

The professor said, "Looked like you were having a really tough day out there." I grunted some reply. But then he asked, "How are you feeling about the way you played?" I stopped walking, turned towards him with unexpected tears in my eyes, and a torrent of feelings, worries, and concerns came forth, most of which I didn't really know were inside me. He listened to me patiently and when my outburst slowed to a trickle, he asked me, "What do you want to do about all of this?"

I didn't have any answers to his last question then. But the next day I went to his office and thanked him for listening to me. I told him I was embarrassed about my reaction to his previous questions, but I had been thinking about what he had asked me. I didn't realize it at the time, but the two simple questions he asked me happened during a period of life transition. Those questions changed my perspective, opened me to a new way of being with people, and helped me find a way to turn adversity into achievement. His reaching out to help a young ballplayer in distress turned into one of the most influential moments of my life.

When I learned that my mentor died in 1985, I sent a letter to his wife expressing my belated condolences and telling her how he had influenced my life. She wrote back thanking me for my letter and telling me that she had received dozens of letters like mine from his former students. Dr. John Seward, who obtained his Ph.D. from Columbia University in 1931 along with fellow student, Carl Rogers, was a great teacher, employer, and mentor, and a leading authority on behavioural psychology.


Rocky Marciano
World Heavyweight Boxing Champion

mentor to

Ingemar Johansson
World Heavyweight Boxing Champion

~ From Famous Mentor Pairings ~


CD-ROM WITH COMPASS AND THE PEER BULLETIN

Do you know someone who could benefit from becoming a member of the Peer Resources Network? Although you are receiving this free newsletter every 45-60 days, members of the Peer Resources Network receive a monthly newsletter, the Peer Bulletin, with additional information, practical tips, announcements, mentor program descriptions, funding opportunities and job openings in mentoring and mentoring research summaries every month.

Do the quotes placed in this newsletter intrigue you? Would you like to know more about the people quoted or read more of what they have to say? Members of the Peer Resources Network receive links and more details regarding each quote when they receive the monthly Peer Bulletin.

In addition Peer Resources Network members receive toll-free coaching and consultation for all mentor program development issues as an additional benefit of membership. Members also receive print versions of Compass: A Magazine for Peer Assistance, Mentorship and Coaching. This magazine has become the only advertising-free, professional, peer-reviewed publication on mentoring, and is filled with timely articles and practical suggestions from experienced mentor program leaders.

The Peer Resources Network is a non-profit organization and is sustained through memberships. The low fee for a one-year individual membership is $75.00 and the fee for an institutional membership, which allows up to five people to share a full membership, is $140.00 for a year. We even have a student rate of $32.10/year. For more details on the benefits as well as a secure online form to sign-up, go to http://www.mentors.ca/PRN.html.

As a bonus for readers of The Mentor News who become members of the Peer Resources Network in October-November, 2006, we will send you at no additional cost a CD that contains the three past issues and the current issue of Compass: A Magazine for Peer Assistance, Mentorship and Coaching as well as the past 12 months of the Peer Bulletin. This CD is free to PRN members and will be sent by postal mail at no cost to any individual category member or the group leader of any institutional membership.


Cus D'Amato
Professional Boxing Trainer & Manager

mentor to

Floyd Patterson
World Heavyweight Boxing Champion

~ From Famous Mentor Pairings ~


MENTORING CONFERENCES and EVENTS

First National Conference on Mentoring for Youth with Disabilities
September 13-15, 2006
Hilton Boston Logan Airport, Boston, Massachusetts
www.pyd.org
(617) 556-4075
mgallagher@pyd.org

Setting Up a Mentoring System in Your Organization
September 14, 2006
Courtyard by Marriott, Jersey City, New York
www.paamentoring.com
(800) 648-0543 or (312) 648-0849
info@perrone-ambrose.com

Mentoring and Coaching Skills for Managers
September 15, 2006
Courtyard by Marriott, Jersey City, New York
www.paamentoring.com
(800) 648-0543 or (312) 648-0849
info@perrone-ambrose.com

Mobilizing New Mentors Through Faith- and Community-Based Collaborations
September 24-27, 2006
Hotel Monteleone, New Orleans, Louisiana
www.mentoryouth.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/training.about
(877) 500.MENTOR
agrable@nnym.org

The Effective Mentor

September 26-27, 2006
The Regency Hotel, South Kensington, London (UK)
www.mast.co.uk
01628 504919
simon.oak@mast.co.uk

Setting Up a Mentoring System in Your Organization
October 5, 2006
161 North Clark Street, Chicago, Illinois
www.paamentoring.com
(800) 648-0543 or (312) 648-0849
info@perrone-ambrose.com

Mentoring and Coaching Skills for Managers
October 6, 2006
161 North Clark Street, Chicago, Illinois
www.paamentoring.com
(800) 648-0543 or (312) 648-0849
info@perrone-ambrose.com

National Training Institute for School-Based Mentoring
October 10-12, 2006
Ewing Marion Kauffman Foundation, Kansas City, Missouri
mentormap.org/documents/Traininginstituteinfo.pdf
(816) 842-7082

Minnesota's Mentoring Conference 2006

October 16, 2006
Carleton College, Sayles-Hill Campus, Northfield, Minnesota
www.mentoringworks.org
(612) 370-9180
mentor@mentoringworks.org

Setting Up a Mentoring System in Your Organization
October 24, 2006
161 North Clark Street, Chicago, Illinois
www.paamentoring.com
(800) 648-0543 or (312) 648-0849
info@perrone-ambrose.com

Michigan's Mentoring Conference
October 25, 2006
Michigan State University, MSU Union, East Lansing, Michigan
mentormichigan@michigan.gov

Mentors Train-the-Trainer Program
October 25-27, 2006
Perrone-Ambrose, Chicago, Illinois
www.perrone-ambrose.com
(800) 648-0543 or (312) 466-2661

Minnesota's Mentoring Conference 2006
October 26, 2006
Holiday Inn, Duluth, Minnesota
www.mentoringworks.org
(612) 370-9180
mentor@mentoringworks.org

Mentoring Program Coordinators' Workshop
November 1-2, 2006
Clutterbuck Associates HQ, Burnham, United Kingdom
www.clutterbuckassociates.co.uk
+44 (0)1628 661667

13th Annual European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC) Conference
November 1-3, 2006
Radisson SAS Hotel, Cologne (Köln), Germany
www.emccouncil.org
Tel: +44 (0)20 8386 5304
lenora.jones@emccouncil.org

Coaching and Mentoring
November 6-7, 2006
Sauder School of Business, University of British Columbia, Vancouver, British Columbia
www.sauder.ubc.ca/exec_ed
(604) 822-8455 or (800) 618-3932
exec.ed@sauder.ubc.ca

Setting Up a Mentoring System in Your Organization
November 16, 2006
21st & M Street, NW, Washington, DC
www.paamentoring.com
(800) 648-0543 or (312) 648-0849
info@perrone-ambrose.com

Mentoring and Coaching Skills for Managers
November 17, 2006
21st & M Street, NW, Washington, DC
www.paamentoring.com
(800) 648-0543 or (312) 648-0849
info@perrone-ambrose.com

Setting Up a Mentoring System in Your Organization
December 7, 2006
161 North Clark Street, Chicago, Illinois
www.paamentoring.com
(800) 648-0543 or (312) 648-0849
info@perrone-ambrose.com

Mentoring and Coaching Skills for Managers
December 8, 2006
161 North Clark Street, Chicago, Illinois
www.paamentoring.com
(800) 648-0543 or (312) 648-0849
info@perrone-ambrose.com

Developing a Sustainable Mentoring System
December 12-13, 2006
Chicago, Illinois
www.linkageinc.com/learning_events/training/workshops
(781) 402-5555

Coaching and Mentoring
February 5-6, 2007
Sauder School of Business, University of British Columbia, Vancouver, British Columbia
www.sauder.ubc.ca/exec_ed
(604) 822-8455 or (800) 618-3932
exec.ed@sauder.ubc.ca

International Mentoring Association Conference
March 22-24, 2007
Renaissance Atlanta Hotel Downtown, Atlanta, Georgia
www.mentoring-association.org
(269) 387-4174
cedu_ima@wmich.edu

Coaching and Mentoring
April 10-11, 2007
Sauder School of Business, University of British Columbia, Vancouver, British Columbia
www.sauder.ubc.ca/exec_ed
(604) 822-8455 or (800) 618-3932
exec.ed@sauder.ubc.ca

3rd National School-Based Mentoring Conference

June 13-14, 2007
Kansas City, Missouri
www.mentormap.org
(816) 842-7082

Mentor Leadership Training & New Teacher Induction
July 3-4, 2007
Club Willow Wells, Waterloo, Ontario
www.peer.ca/trng.html
(800) 567-3700 or (250) 595-3503
rcarr@mentors.ca


Pia Nilsson
Professional Golf Coach

mentor to

Annika Sorenstam
Professional Golfer

~ From Famous Mentor Pairings ~


USE MENTORING LITERATURE TO GUIDE PROFESSIONAL PRACTICE

Peer Resources continually scans the professional and popular literature for articles, books, videos and other useful reference materials. They provide a brief synopsis of the work as well as citation details and summaries in a searchable format on their site at http://www.peer.ca/SearchB.html. Each issue of The Mentor News includes some of the many citations added every week.

Abbott, I.O. (July/August, 2006). Mentoring bridges the generation gap. Diversity & the Bar (The professional magazine of the Minority Corporate Counsel Association) [Online - Retrieved July 21, 2006 from http://mcca.com/site/data/magazine/2006-07/mentoring.shtml].

Today's workplace reflects at least four distinct generations (traditionalists, baby boomers, generation X, and millennials) each with its own characteristics. Such differences can have a dramatic impact on career development and retention. Mentoring is proposed by the author as a way to bridge the generation gaps. She identifies the generational barriers (divergent values about loyalty, different definitions of career success, and ideas about work/life balance), details how to flex a traditional mentoring paradigm to meet the needs of different generations, and provides five specific strategies to promote mentoring relationships in the modern workplace.

Bauldry, S. (July, 2006). Positive support: Mentoring and depression among high-risk youth. Philadelphia, PA: Public/Private Ventures.

The author examines the potential benefits of matching high-risk youth with faith-based mentors. Surveys and interviews with young people who participated in the National Faith-Based Initiative, revealed that mentored youth were less likely to show signs of depression than the youth who were not matched with a mentor. This in turn was related to a variety of other beneficial outcomes, including handling conflict better and fewer self-reported instances of arrests. The report concludes with a consideration of the challenges of implementing a mentoring program for high-risk youth and how they might be overcome. (The full report is available to Peer Resources Network members by visiting the Featured Resources section of the password protected area.)

Dychtwald, K., Erickson, T.J., and Morison, R. (2006). Workforce crisis: How to beat the coming shortage of skills and talent. Cambridge, MA: Harvard Business School.

American businesses are in serious peril, according to these authors, because they are hiring younger workers that don't require health care benefits and providing buy-outs to older workers. This type of thinking relies on stereotypes rather than tailoring the workplace to the needs of a range of workers. Even younger workers require more attention to their specific needs; they tend to be the least satisfied and least engaged. Their needs for independence, self-defined work schedules, and challenging opportunities will force them to quickly leave a place of employment that fails to take these needs into account. The authors argue for mentoring, amongst other solutions, as a key strategy for customizing the workplace, increasing productivity, nurturing talent, increasing retention, preventing burnout, and reinvigorating careers.

McGee, G. (June, 2006). The three worst places to be a postdoc. The Scientist [Online - Retrieved June 21, 2006 from http://www.the-scientist.com/article/daily/23544/]

Failure to mentor is described as a basic moral failing in science training. The author identifies three types of institutions that, while "prestigious" or loaded with fellowships, actually result in disappointment for seekers of post-PhD work: places where public acknowledgement of work is usurped by faculty in order to further their own careers; schools with state-of-the-art resources, but no one to talk to; and places where your dissertation research was welcomed as brilliant, but anything else you have to say requires research-sponsor approval. Ethical mentors, the author believes, can help student scientists make informed decisions about best places to work.

Morselli, C., Tremblay, P., and McCarthy, B. (2006). Mentors and criminal achievement. Criminology, 44, 1, 17-27.

Research focusing on conventional occupations concludes that mentored individuals are more successful in their careers than those who are not mentored. Early research in criminology made a similar claim. Yet contemporary criminology has all but ignored mentors. The authors argue that mentors play a key role in their partners’ criminal achievements, particularly illegal earnings and incarceration experiences, and examine this hypothesis with data from a recent survey of incarcerated adult male offenders in Quebec. A substantial proportion of respondents reported the presence of an influential individual in their lives who introduced them to a criminal milieu and whom they explicitly regarded as a mentor provided the structure and restraint that led to a more prudent approach to crime. Earnings are higher for crooks with mentors, and the authors believe that "the presence of a criminal mentor is pivotal for achievement over one's criminal career." Author's email: (A full version of this study is available to members of the Peer Resources Network by contacting Rey Carr at rcarr@islandnet.com)

Raley, B. (2006). Rewards of giving: An in-depth study of older adults' volunteer experiences in urban elementary school. Philadelphia, PA: Public/Private Ventures.

Based on interviews with 43 volunteers in the Experience Corps, a national service program that recruits, trains and places teams of older adults in under-served urban elementary schools as tutors and mentors, this study offers a rich understanding of what motivates Americans over 55 to volunteer, the challenges and rewards they experience through civic engagement and key program supports that contribute to meaningful service work. Rewards of Giving provides important insights to practitioners and funding sources about creating and investing in high-quality, high-yield program models that effectively attract and retain older adult volunteers. (The full report is available to Peer Resources Network members by visiting the Featured Resources section of the password protected area.)


Mark O'Meara
Professional Golfer

and

Butch Harmon
Professional Golfer, Teacher, Coach

mentors to

Tiger Woods
Professional Golfer

~ From Famous Mentor Pairings ~


CHAMPIONS OF MENTORING

The University of Toronto has 12,000 employees and has consistently been ranked as one of Canada's Top 100 Employers. Since 1998 they have been using mentoring to pair senior staff members with employees in the same as well as different departments. Their intention is to improve communication, breakdown "silos," and connect employees with the mission of the university. Along with other support services, mentoring enables employees to be ready to take advantage of job opportunities throughout this complex and large organization. (Source: Canadian HR Reporter, June 19, 2006)

The Barbados Youth Business Trust is planning its Tenth Anniversary Celebration for September 26, 2006 with a Business Mentor Symposium. They are seeking a business mentoring expert from North America to act as the keynote outside speaker. While they can provide accommodation, they are unable to provide travel or pay fees. Any Peer Resources Network member interested in this opportunity can contact Marcia Brandon at bybt@youthbusiness.bb

Home Depot is committed to talent development through coaching and mentoring programs. They recognize that to remain competitive these programs must be part of their core business strategy. The company believes that career management is a joint responsibility of both the individual employee and the organization.

The Women's Dermatologic Society (WDS) in San Francisco, California has named Dr. Amy Paller, MD the winner of the 2006 Mentor of the Year Award. Dr. Palmer is the Chair of the Department of Dermatology at Northwestern University and has served as a mentor for dozens of dermatologists, pediatricians, and students from around the world. The WDS Award recognizes one mentor each year who has influenced the lives of women in dermatology through her commitment to mentoring. For more information about the additional 2006 Mentorship Award winners, go to http://www.womensderm.org/grant/mentorship.html

The Minerva Foundation provides a Learning to Lead program that provides young girls, emerging leaders and graduate students the opportunity to be mentored by accomplished women leaders in business, government and community in order to help them develop their full potential. Minerva also provides through their Helping Women Work program a series of workshops for women that pairs them with mentors, certified coaches, and professional career counselors to explore careers and increase job readiness. (Source: http://www.minervafoundation.com)

A Career Survey that has potential for mentoring has been created by Michael Wysocki. He is creating a website and writing a book for people changing careers or entering the workforce that will, in part, be based on the results of his survey. The 15-20 minute survey asks questions about your current employment experience and the questions are based mostly on what people would have wanted to know prior to choosing their field. In Michael's review of existing career decision making resources, he found a deficiency of resources for job hunters that offered real-life experiences from seasoned professionals. The anonymously supplied results of the survey will be the basis for his book, Careers by the People. Persons who complete the survey will be eligible to receive a free copy of the book when it is published. To participate in the survey, go to http://www.careersbythepeople.com

The Tutor Mentor Connection (T/MC) of Chicago led by Dan Bassill has redesigned its website and now includes a unique tutor or mentor program locator for the Chicago area. The primary goal of the T/MC is to help inner-city children move from a birth in poverty to a job or career by age 25. A map of the greater Chicago region on the site shows a grid of areas of poverty in the city, the location of poorly performing schools, and the availability of tutor/mentor services in those areas. Leaders can use this mapping to learn which neighborhoods need more volunteers, donors and business partners to assist parents and children.

The Sky High Network Development Team
is the new name of the Suffolk Peer Support and Mentoring Network in the UK. Their aim is to promote the use of peer support and mentoring by providing a forum and network for all adults and young people trained as peer supporters. They just recently concluded their second Mentoring Makes a Difference Conference and have launched their newsletter and new website. They have a range of projects lined up for the summer months and more details can be obtained from their website: http://www.sky-high.org.uk

The Canadian Executive Service Organization (CESO),
a non-profit organization, has established an Aboriginal Mentoring Project to attract people with a wealth of business experience to join its roster of volunteers from Northern Ontario and act as mentors to Aboriginal Entrepreneurs. Mentors who are selected are assigned to an individual Aboriginal project. The time commitment required of the Volunteer Advisor/Mentor is about ten days per year. CESO is dedicated to reducing poverty through entrepreneurship in all its forms. They have been providing Volunteer Advisors who use their professional talents and experience to assist small and medium size businesses, internationally and in Canadian Aboriginal communities, for almost forty years. For more information contact Brian Blenkin or Walter Wells, CESO|SACO Mentorship Team, 700 Bay Street, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M5G 1Z6; Tel: 1-800-268-9052 or email: mentorship@ceso-saco.com

The International Telementoring Program (http://www.telementor.org) facilitates electronic mentoring relationships between professional adults and students worldwide, and is recognized as the leader in the field of academic based mentoring. A recent issue of their journal included an article written by one of the mentored students, Michael Kim, about what he has learned from a mentoring project that focused on Sean Covey's book, "Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens." Working through each of the concepts with his mentor, Sean was able to benefit from all of the principles, but the one he liked the best was, "Seek first to understand, and then to be understood." While Sean emphasized that his own character and ability to communicate had been strongly molded by his family and friends, he acknowledged that even a small change can make a big difference and likened his growth to how a difference of one degree on a compass can change an airplane's flight to a completely different airport.


Pee Wee Reese
Professional Baseball Player

mentor to

Jackie Robinson
Professional Baseball Player

~ From Famous Mentor Pairings ~


USE A TAG LINE TO RECRUIT MENTORS

A recent discussion on the MentorExchange listserv yielded a number of contributions from youth mentoring program leaders regarding sayings or tag lines they use to attract mentors to volunteer for their programs. Here are the top fifteen:

"Mentor One Child, Change Two Lives"
"We're Looking for a Few Good MEN-tors"
"Share What You Know. Mentor a Child"
"Use Your Skills. Share Your Talents. Be A Mentor"
"To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you just may be the world"
"Be All You Can Be - Become a Mentor"
"Give a Little Gain A Lot - Become a Mentor"
"Share the Power - Become a Mentor"
"Make a Difference - Become a Mentor"
"Ignite the Flame - Become a Mentor"
"Be the Example, Not the Warning - Become a Mentor"
"Shape the Future - Become a Mentor"
"Unleash Potential - Become a Mentor"
"Connect with Wisdom - Become a Mentor"
"Brighten the Spirit - Become a Mentor"

The MentorExchange listserv is provided at no charge by the National Mentoring Center of the Northwest Regional Educational Laboratory (www.nwrel.org/mentoring/index.html).


Billy Jean King
Professional Tennis Player

mentor to

Zina Garrison
Professional Tennis Player

~ From Famous Mentor Pairings ~


THE TWELVE HABITS OF THE TOXIC MENTEE
David Clutterbuck

In our training of mentors and mentees, we find there are real benefits to exploring not only the things they ought to do, but also the behaviours they ought to avoid. Participants find a list of what not to do highly memorable, and the content allows the leader to focus on a serious subject with a lighter touch. Most importantly, focusing on the "do's" and "don'ts" stimulates much more lively discussion of what is and is not appropriate behaviour.

While I've listed here the 12 habits of the "toxic mentee," I've also created a corresponding list of the 12 habits of the toxic mentor (see below). All the items in both are based on real people and events. Some of my favorite anecdotes include:

• The mentee who came to see his mentor several times a day. After three weeks the mentor cracked, grabbed the guy by the neck and banged his nose on the window, saying "Next time you go through it!" We think the relationship came to an abrupt halt at that point!

• The mentee who brought to her first meeting with an inexperienced mentor a list of 15 things she wanted the mentor to do for her. He wilted and resigned. A more experienced replacement responded to the same request with the questions: "Which is your top priority?" and "What's your responsibility in making this happen?"

Based on literally hundreds of these experiences, I've created the following list summarizing the top 12 toxic mentee behaviours that will surely put an end to a mentoring relationship:

1. Bring to the first formal meeting a long shopping list of things you want the mentor to do for you.

2. Expect the mentor to be available for you, whenever you want them (heroes never need sleep!).

3. Regard the mentor as your prime source of gossip to pass on.

4. Expect the mentor always to have the answer – that’s why they are more senior.

5. Expect the mentor to decide when to meet and what to talk about.

6. Boast about the relationship to your colleagues at every opportunity.

7. Never challenge what the mentor says – s/he is paid to know best.

8. Blame the mentor whenever advice doesn’t work out – s/he should have known better.

9. Treat mentoring sessions as mobile – the easiest item in the diary to move at the last minute.

10. Enjoy the opportunity to have a good moan or whine, whenever you meet – especially if no-one else will listen to you.

11. Make it clear to the mentor that you want to be just like them – adopt their style of speaking, dress and posture.

12. Never commit to doing anything as a result of the mentoring session. If, by accident, you do, simply forget to follow the commitment up. (Why spoil the fun of discussion with outcomes?).

Of course, toxic behaviours are not limited to mentees. Here are common problems presented by mentors:

• The mentor, who told his mentee at the beginning of their first session: "You think YOU'VE got problems!"
• The mentor, who told a young female mentee: "Now don't you worry your pretty little head."
• The mentor (a very senior manager), who every session talked at his very junior graduate mentee for an hour without stop, then always asked "I hope you found that useful!?" (The mentee never quite had the courage to say "No")
• The black hole mentor - he or she listens intently and everything appears to sink in, but nothing ever comes out.

When assessing potential mentors, we particularly try to screen out two types of persona. One is the person whose primary motive is altruistic ("I want to put something back"; "I've so much to give"; "I want to stop my mentee making the same mistakes I did"). There is a good deal of evidence that these people tend to be much more self-indulgent and self-focused. The most effective mentors tend to be those, who see the relationship as an opportunity for their own learning and development.

The second is the person with "helper syndrome." They become drawn to helping roles, such as a mentoring or counselling, in order to avoid confronting their own painful issues. Unfortunately, their own issues dominate their thinking and they project their problems onto the people they are supposed to be helping, that is, they see that person's issues through the filter of their own. In one assessment of potential business mentors, we found that 40% of the applicants interviewed suffered from helper syndrome.

About the Author.
David Clutterbuck is the head of Clutterbuck Associates, one of the world's leading providers of mentoring program support. Based in the UK, Professor Clutterbuck is a prolific writer on people development and strategic business processes. His books and how-to papers provide leading edge ideas about the state of the art of mentoring and coaching. He can be contacted through his website. To read Professor Clutterbuck's "12 Habits of the Toxic Mentor" go to Peer Resources Network member Robin Cox's website. (The above article was reprinted with permission.)


Ian Miller
Canadian & Olympic Equestrian Champion

mentor to

Jill Henselwood
Canadian & Olympic Equestrian Champion

~ From Famous Mentor Pairings ~



The Mentor News is a free publication of Peer Resources, 1052 Davie Street, Victoria, British Columbia V8S 4E3 Canada. All articles are written by Dr. Rey Carr unless otherwise indicated, and are copyrighted by Peer Resources. Back issues are available online. To subscribe or unsubscribe send an email to info@mentors.ca. If you know of anyone who might benefit from receiving this newsletter, please pass it on. (All items in this newsletter have been selected or adapted from The Peer Bulletin, a paid subscriber publication for members of the Peer Resources Network. Copyright is held by Peer Resources.)