1. Building Trust is the Key to the Deepest Relationships
2. Opportunities for Creating and Strengthening Peer Programs
3. Attend a Peer Conference or Training Event
4. Key Studies from Peer Research to Strengthen Practice
5. Use the Five-Finger Model to Evaluate Peer Assistance Relationships
6. Access the Peer Resources Peer Program Assessment Model
7. Subscribing, Unsubscribing, Distribution and Copyright

BUILDING TRUST IS THE KEY TO THE DEEPEST RELATIONSHIPS

Three weeks ago my stepson, daughter-in-law and only grandchild moved to Melbourne, Australia to follow a dream that has been happily realized. While the family was preparing for the move, I had a chance to spend considerable quality time being grandpa. And something quite amazing happened that not only had a significant impact on my emotional life, but also helped me to deepen my understanding of the power of relationship and the role that a particular type of relationship has to the success of peer assistance.

I know that I'm not the first person to have had this experience and because of its power, I'm sure it is something that most parents and grandparents around the world have experienced. And I'm also sure that many peer helpers have experienced this type of relationship with the people with whom they work. It's also something that I believe everyone searches for or wants to happen in their lifetime with at least one other person.

It will probably help if I describe what happened to me. I had been spending the day playing with my 19-month old granddaughter as I had done on many other occasions. She's an active little person and likes to play with toys, look at books, toss blocks, check on what grandma is doing in the kitchen, and inspect tiny things she finds on the floor. This particular afternoon she climbed up on my lap for a snuggle and I held her in my arms and looked down at her sweet little face.

Nothing too unusual here. This routine has happened many times since she started walking. But this time when I looked into her eyes, she held my gaze with her eyes and looked up at me with a focus and intensity I'd never felt before. An unspoken feeling was passing between us that was so powerful and so deep that it seemed like time stood still. Before I knew it I had tears in my eyes and I felt a sense of unparalleled joy. Our looking at each other was going way beyond the eye contact level and we had entered a different dimension. A dimension that goes beyond being a loving grandparent; it was a dimension that included a voice from every cell in my body that said, "I will protect you with every ounce of strength I have. I will always be there for you. I commit myself to you forever."

A few minutes later she climbed down from the space in my arms and went to the window to point to the birds at our backyard feeder and then toddled off to the kitchen to see grandma. It took me more than a week to understand what had happened. I wasn't sure I could even describe the experience to anyone else. And it all happened in an instant without any words.

Fortunately, I have people around me who will listen with compassion and empathy and I won't feel embarrassed with when I start to tear-up describing what happened.

Terms such as "bonding," "attachment," "empathy," "epiphany," "belonging," "love," "being in the zone," or "rapport" all come close to "feeling" correct. Yet, even these terms lack the mystery, spirituality, mutuality, and quite frankly, the ability to stand for something that happened in a realm beyond the physics of our universe.

While I am at a loss as to how to fully describe what happened, I think that all the quality relationships I have developed as a stepfather, grandfather, husband, son, uncle, brother, cousin, employer, worker, teacher, mentor, peer, and coach, have helped me to get to the point where I could experience the utter joy that came in that brief moment. In addition that moment rekindled the spirit inside me to increase the likelihood that this moment happens for everyone.

Maybe this is what we seek in our helping relationships: that moment of absolute trust - the moment at which everything that comes later has a deeper, effortless, timeless connection with another person. I'm glad I was able to recognize it in myself and grateful to a toddler who taught me that the child is the father of the man.

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"No one has yet fully realized the wealth of sympathy, kindness, and generosity hidden in he soul of a child. The effort of every true educator should be to unlock that treasure."

~ Emma Goldman ~

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OPPORTUNITIES FOR CREATING AND STRENGTHENING PEER PROGRAMS

1. COMPREHENSIVE PEER PROGRAMS LEADER WORKSHOP (Level I)
The focus of this workshop is on developing high quality peer programs and recruiting, selecting, training, and supervising volunteers to provide peer assistance. Emphasis is placed on the key components of successful peer-based programs in schools, universities and communities. The use of peers as mediators will be included.

The course will take place: July 4-8, 2005 in Waterloo, Ontario and space is limited to sixteen participants. The fee for the workshop is $753.50 (plus tax) and includes all materials, nutrition breaks, post-session consultation and membership in the Peer Resources Network. Additional information and online registration as well as accommodation information is available at http://www.peer.ca/trng.html or by calling 1.800.567.3700.

2. ADVANCED TRAINING FOR PEER PROGRAM LEADERS (Level II)
An advanced course for persons who have completed a Level I course and have at least one year experience with facilitating peer programs. The emphasis of this course is on training skill development, coaching others to create successful peer programs, and the latest trends, issues and resources associated with peer work. In addition, participants can choose to work as training assistants in the Comprehensive Peer Program Leader Workshop which immediately follows this course. While working as assistants, participants receive individual coaching and support for learning how to lead such a training workshop.

The course will take place: July 9-10, 2005 in Victoria, British Columbia. Space is limited to eight participants. The fee for the workshop is $550.00 (plus tax) and includes all materials, nutrition breaks and post-session consultation. Additional information and online registration as well as accommodation information is available at http://www.peer.ca/trng.html or by calling 1.800.567.3700.

3. FIRST NATIONS and DIVERSE COMMUNITIES PEER PROGRAMS LEADERS WORKSHOP (Level I)
The emphasis of this workshop is on First Nations, Aboriginal, Metis, Inuit and Indian communities and has been designed for adults working with youth. In addition any persons working with groups of youth from diverse backgrounds (elementary to university age) will learn how to build on diversity to maximize peer support and peer coaching in school, college, or community settings. The workshop integrates First Nations customs and traditions into state-of-the-art peer training principles. The merging of the Medicine Wheel with the Experiential Learning Cycle benefits any peer training program.

The course will take place July 11-15, 2005 in Victoria, British Columbia. Space is limited to sixteen participants. The fee for the workshop is $753.50 (plus tax) and includes all materials, nutrition breaks, post-session consultation and membership in the Peer Resources Network. Additional information and online registration as well as accommodation information is available at http://www.peer.ca/trng.html or by calling 1.800.567.3700.

All seminars are based on principles of adult learning and use experiential skill-building exercises and activities; builds on participant experience and ideas; provides focused input from the workshop leader; encourages sharing learning experience; provides a library of relevant resources; and provides a notebook and take-away trainer materials for each participant. Participants who complete any seminar will receive a Certificate of Completion and be eligible for Continuing Education Unit (CEU) credit. Additional information and online registration is available at http://www.mentors.ca/trng.html. Or call 1.800.567.3700.

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"There's a powerful transformative effect when you surround yourself with like-minded people. Peer pressure is a great thing when it helps you accomplish your goals instead of distracting you from them."

~ Po Bronson ~

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ATTEND A PEER CONFERENCE OR RELATED EVENT

Peer Ministry Training Opportunities
May through September, 2005
www.peerministry.org
(952) 698-3988

19th Annual National Peer Helpers Association Conference
June 24-26, 2005
Hyatt Lodge in Oakbrook (near Chicago), Illinois
www.peerhelping.org
(877) 314-7337

Comprehensive Peer Program Development and Peer Trainer Training for Diversity
July 11-15, 2005
University of Victoria, Victoria, British Columbia
www.peer.ca/trng.html
(800) 567.3700 or (250) 595-3503

5th Annual Peer Support Conference
January 27, 2006
University of Northern British Columbia, Prince George, British Columbia
macdonas@unbc.ca
(250) 960-5962

For additional peer conferences, training workshops or events as well as to learn about what you missed, go to http://www.peer.ca/peerevents.html.

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"Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers."

~ Daniel J. Boorstin ~

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FOUR KEY STUDIES FROM PEER RESEARCH TO STRENGTHEN PRACTICE

Peer Resources continually scans the professional and popular published literature to find articles of interest to people involved in peer assistance. Three of several hundred recent additions to the searchable, annotated bibliography at http://www.peer.ca/SearchB.html are:

Gilan, E. and Poole, J. (March 18, 2005). The Self-Help Resource Centre's Empowering Stroke Prevention Project: Peer support strategy for chronic disease prevention. Ontario Health Promotion E-Mail Bulletin 404.1 (Available from http://www.ohpe.ca).

This project created a stroke prevention education booklet, co-developed with community members and a complementary training manual for use by service providers to train volunteer peer facilitators on stroke prevention; and trained a group of 30 lay health promoters with the skills to provide peer support, information, and outreach in their communities. The authors also learned some of the key elements for training peer support workers: (1) recognize the wisdom that already exists in the community; (2) be willing to abandon planned training agendas to reflect the realities of training participant lives (storytelling replaced power point slides, for example); and (3) insure that lecture does not replace experience (a discussion about the importance of physical activity gave way to dancing around the room). Results from the project to-date suggest that the project provided participants with more information on stroke and its prevention, access to mutual support from others in similar life circumstances, and opportunities for skill development and community organizing. Many of the project participants were at-risk for stroke themselves by virtue of their ethnicity, socio-economic status, existing health conditions, or limited social supports. They found the opportunity to learn about stroke signs and symptoms particularly valuable.

Beitel, M. (1997). Nuances before dinner: Exploring the relationship between peer counselors and delinquent adolescents. Adolescence, 32, 127, 579-591.

This paper details the peer counselor - client relationship as it occurs in vivo from the point of view of a participant observer. The relationship is viewed through two clinical lenses: one developmental, informed by self psychology (H. Kohut) and object relations theory (D. W. Winnicott), and one technical (Bibring's five therapeutic intervention principles). Peer counselors are seen as transitional persons who can both meet and interpret clients needs. Case material is presented.

Little, P.F.B. (April, 2005). Peer coaching as a support to collaborative teaching. Mentoring & Tutoring, 13, 1, 83-94.

In a collaborative classroom, teachers combine their strengths to work together, coach one another, and provide the best possible environment for their students. Similarly, peer coaching provides educators with a chance to use a natural support system at their school. When peer coaching is used in conjunction with collaborative teaching, it enhances teacher improvement and student learning by providing ongoing opportunities for educators to share their unique knowledge bases and expertise, allowing exploration of new ideas and expansion of professional skill repertoires. The author is associated with Dale Mabry Elementary School in Tampa, Florida.

Evans, A. (December, 2004). Peer mediation: Fifth-grade students solving conflicts. Unpublished doctoral dissertation. University of Houston at Clear Lake, Houston, Texas.

Verbal and physical conflicts in elementary schools are a concern among educators. This study investigates the effect of fifth grade students' attitude towards solving verbal and physical conflicts using peer mediation at an elementary school in Texas. Descriptive statistical analysis was used to test the hypothesis that no difference exists in students' attitude towards solving verbal and physical conflicts after awareness training and using peer mediation.

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"After you've done a thing the same way for two years, look it over carefully. After five years, look at it with suspicion. Aften ten years, throw it away and start all over."

~ Alfred Edward Perlman ~

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USING FIVE FINGERS TO ASSESS THE QUALITY OF PEER RELATIONSHIPS

After interviewing thousands of students to determine what they were most concerned about in high school, Rey Carr, the CEO of Peer Resources, found that "making and keeping friends" consistently ranked in the top two. ("Achieving in school" was the second most frequently mentioned concern, followed by other concerns that were mostly related to the age of the students participating in the interviews.)

Learning how to make and keep friends consequently became the basis for the peer program trainings developed for adolescent peer helpers in 1980. The manuals and workbooks developed by Peer Resources were designed to provide the training, support, and supervision for young people to put their desire for and concern about friendship within practical and achievable reach. The content of the materials and the trainings became an avenue for learning about what is necessary to establish and maintain friendship relationships.

While students often develop their own yardsticks to assess the quality of their friendships and the formal training programs include a focus on determining friendship progress, simplicity is a key concept in applying any method of assessment.

Don Morris (don@donswordplay.com) has created a simple and memorable method for anyone interested in quality relationships with peers. His approach helps people to keep on-track in their desire to improve their friendships and determine how well the relationship is progressing. Don says that by using his approach, "anyone can tell whether a particular relationship is a quality friendship by counting it off the fingers on one hand." Here's how he does it:

1. The Thumb. The base, the most important quality. Ask yourself, "Is this relationship both deep and broad?" Some relationships, like between a counselor and a client, are deep but not broad. Others, like the relationship with the sales clerk you see every week at the grocery store, are broad but not deep. Friendships are both.

2. The First Finger. We point with our first finger. So ask yourself, "Is this relationship reciprocal?" Does the other person show the same interest in you that you show to them? This will tell you early where the relationship is headed.

3. The Middle Finger. Ask yourself, "Is this relationship balanced?" Some relationships are one-sided. One person does more or shares more than the other. Good friendships are balanced.

4. The Ring Finger. Traditionally the ring finger is connected to the heart. Ask yourself, "Is this relationship growing and deepening?" If it is static or declining, it probably is not a good friendship. As relationships evolve, they may change from a close friendship to a more peripheral relationship.

5. The Little Finger. The little finger is usually the weakest finger of the five. Ask yourself, "Am I proactive in this relationship?" Do I make the first move to form a friendship by meeting a person and sharing with them? When there is a problem, do I take the initiative to talk it out with the other person?

Review each of your relationships and ask yourself:
1. Is it both deep and broad?
2. Is it reciprocal?
3. Is it balanced?
4. Is it incremental (growing)?
5. Are both persons proactive?

This simple five-finger method is easy to remember and has the added symbolism of a handshake. When two people shake hands and their fingers touch, the five-finger review is set into motion.

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"In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends."

~ John Curton Collins ~

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ACCESS THE PEER RESOURCES PEER PROGRAM ASSESSMENT MODEL

For too long peer program leaders have had to rely on complicated program evaluation approaches in order to demonstrate the value or impact of their peer goals, strategies, and procedures. In an effort to attain scientific credibility, peer leaders often turn to assessment or evaluation methods that lack sensitivity to change, but meet scientific research standards.

Now, an experienced researcher has created a valid model that can be easily customized for any peer program. By attending to the simple procedures associated with using the model, peer leaders will be more likely to show the significant changes, differences, or impact their program efforts have had on a variety of their program participants.

Currently being tested in a head-to-head contest with traditional methods, this unique model, called the Peer Resources Post-then-Pre Model, is being made available to subscribers of The Peer News at http://www.peer.ca/Docs.html. The download includes a brief description of the rationale for the development of the model and two detailed examples of how the model has been used in peer programs.

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The Peer News has been provided by Peer Resources <www.peer.ca/helping.html>. To become a member of the Peer Resources Network and receive a similar monthly publication as well as a print magazine on peer assistance, mentorship and coaching, visit <http://www.peer.ca/PRN.html> or call 1.800.567.3700 in North America or 1.250.595.3503 outside of North America. To be removed from this mailing list send an email to <info@peer.ca>.